colleagues and friends

"i knew i had you as a friend and that's all that mattered in the end" - lastpagefirst (song for you)



just the other day i found myself mentioning a colleague in a random new sorta social setting. nothing too surprising since from time to time i do mention my colleagues. but what is more surprising is what i actually called my colleague... i called my colleague my friend.

this kinda got me thinking... when does a colleague become a friend?

no doubt that we probably see our colleagues a lot more often and for longer spans of time than our friends. and seeing someone so often and at such length usually involves some personal life sharing at some point.

okay let's take me for example. there are some colleagues that i'm closer to than others. i'm not the world's most open person. my friends can attest to that. but i do share certain stuff with some of my colleagues.

so does that mean that since i share part of my personal life with 'em on a regular basis, they are regarded as my friends?

ordinarily i wouldn't have thought so... and yet i've called colleagues friends before... it doesn't quite add up does it?

in some cases it's more straightforward. in fact, a good friend of mine was actually an ex-colleague. and another friend (the one who recently moved to work overseas) that i hang out with at times was also sorta an ex-colleague. and i used to hang out with another ex-colleague though we have sorta lost contact by now. so it's suffice to say that i do not have any problems hanging out with colleagues and getting to know 'em on a more personal friendship level. in fact sometimes i actually want to get to know 'em on a more personal friendship level 'coz there's so much that you can't uncover during office hours.

but not everyone is all that open when it comes to friendships between colleagues. maybe it's a misconception. maybe nobody really suggests hanging out after work or whatever 'coz everyone just assumes that everyone else has their other friends to hang out with. or maybe it's that segregation between business and pleasure. i don't know.

but back to my question... when does a colleague become a friend? is it after some time of sharing such that you feel like you're getting a feel of that person better? or is it when you guys hang out after work? or is it when you start sharing really personal stuff?

i'm beginning to think that for me, it might be when i'm starting to get a feel of that person better. the more i talk to someone (and i'm talking bout non work related stuff here) and if i think we're getting along is what i use to determine a colleague-friend. joking, laughing and teasing is good. and it's even better when it's lil private jokes. i'm all bout the lil things... even things as seemingly insignificant as what food the other person likes or dislikes interests me. i'm weird like that. but of 'coz the big things are important too... so sharing of big important stuff is cool... but yeah well like i said, i'm not the world's most open person... so i can't say that i share the big important stuff with a whole lot of friends ... must be trust and commitment issues or something.. but that's a different story entirely...